January 23, 2018

THIS IS NOT THE ONION

Hawaii governor took 15 minutes to correct false nuclear missile alert because he FORGOT his Twitter username and password

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 09:30 AM
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GUYS NAMED BOB IN ACTION

California city removes mysterious 'Bob's House' road sign

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 09:29 AM
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AND WE WANT IT BACK

1.7-Billion-Year-Old Chunk of North America Found Sticking to Australia

(Thanks to gahick)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 09:27 AM
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SO IT USED TO BE COOL?

Stilton cancels annual cheese rolling because ‘it’s not cool anymore’

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 04:40 AM
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TRAFFIC ALERT, DUDE

120 pounds of pot fall from trailer driving down I-80

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 04:38 AM
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MONGO LIKE EAGLES

Another Eagles fan arrested for punching police horse

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 04:36 AM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Villagers put frozen 'meteor' in fridge — turns out to be airplane poop

(Thanks to Ranald Adams, Le Petomane, Al Barkafski and PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 04:34 AM
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NOW HE FACES THE SCALES OF JUSTICE

Man stole exotic fish from Clearwater pet shop, shoved them down pants

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 23, 2018 at 04:32 AM
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January 22, 2018

BECAUSE IT WOULD BE DISGUSTING

Scientists Have Figured Out Why Human Skin Doesn't Leak

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 03:30 PM
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HARD TO BELIEVE THEY COULD *BE* ANY MORE HANDSOME

A dozen beasts have been disqualified from this year’s Saudi “camel beauty contest” because their handlers used Botox to make them more handsome.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 03:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

THE POLICE ARE ALL OVER THIS

Doughnut-eating champ charged with stealing from Dunkin’

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Alkali Bill and Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 11:37 AM
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CSI: FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:35 p.m. A chicken was wandering around a local parking lot and a crowd of spectators was gathering to see what it would do next.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 06:12 AM
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AND IN SPORTS

A goalkeeper's water bottle was urinated in during a match, prompting police to arrest an opposition fan.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 06:10 AM
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FROM PIG INTESTINE

A SURGEON is working to create a bionic vagina in a groundbreaking medical project

We saw Bionic Vagina open for... wait, that sounds bad.

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 06:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

IT'S CIA

Russian police face the unexpected: crocodile in basement

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Jeff Meyerson, who notes that it was released after producing a Florida driver's license.)

Posted by Dave on January 22, 2018 at 06:03 AM
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January 21, 2018

'WHAT THE HECK! I DIDN'T ORDER THAT!'

Kid Orders Bong Online, Mom Makes Him Open It In Front Of Her

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2018 at 12:33 PM
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TERRORISM UPDATE

Dozens dressed as Tyrannosaurus rex descend on public square

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2018 at 12:23 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

AND IN SPORTS

City crews dubbing themselves the Crisco Cops were greasing light poles around Philadelphia Sunday morning to prevent Eagles fans from climbing after the NFC Championship game.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2018 at 12:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

MEANWHILE IN MOUNDVILLE

Fight over cheesecake portion leads to arrest

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2018 at 12:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (17)

WHEN FUTURE GENERATIONS TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW WE WENT SO WRONG

They will start here.

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2018 at 06:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

 
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