May 21, 2018

TO MIAMI-AREA FOLKS:

Here's an event I'm doing Thursday for a good cause:
 
Join us for comedy and charity at our Red Nose Day celebration! Red Nose Day has been able to raise over 1 billion dollars since 1988 to try to end child poverty worldwide. This May 24th, Villain Theater is partnering with Comic Relief to host Red Nose Day Celebration. The show will feature performances by Villain Theater's two biggest shows "Tales from the Magic City" with special guest Pulitzer Prize-winning American author Dave Barry, and closing out the night we have "Miami Noise Machine: The Improvised Musical" a completely improvised, on-the-spot Broadway show.
 
Red Nose Day USA
 
Doors open at 7:30 PM
 
There will be 2 showings on May 24th - the first one at 8 PM, and the other at 9:45 PM. Tickets for individual time slots can be purchased at: https://www.villaintheater.com/shows/252/2018-05-24
 
Villain Theater is located at 5865 NE 2nd Ave, Miami, FL 33137.
 
We will be selling red noses to fundraise and ticket proceeds will go to Comic Relief USA
DaveBarry

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 04:11 PM
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AND IN FINANCIAL NEWS

People are buying bitcoin because of a shift in Uranus

(Thanks to Bill Carver)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 02:21 PM
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AIR TRAVEL: MORE FUN WITH EACH PASSING DAY

Passenger Allegedly Urinates On Seat In Front Of Him On Flight

(Thanks to Kevin Smith, John Lobert and Mitch Seibert) 

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 02:13 PM
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AUSTRALIAN POLITICS: NOT UNLIKE AUSTRALIAN WILDLIFE

Man arrested for giving Malcolm Turnbull the finger after the PM 'jumped the queue' at a pub has his $250 fine paid by supporters

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 06:05 AM
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YOU CAN RELAX NOW

Hitler not alive on the moon, study confirms

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 06:03 AM
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'I MANOEUVRE MYSELF IN A TASTEFUL WAY'

A vet's Pink Panther pole dancing routine with her border collie has been banned by the Kennel Club because it 'isn't suitable for a family audience'.

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 06:01 AM
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THIS WOULD ALSO EXPLAIN SQUIRRELS

Are octopuses alien? New theory argues Earth was 'seeded' by interstellar genetic code

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Ranald Adams)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 05:57 AM
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LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL GIFT FOR DAD FOR FATHER'S DAY?

This baby won't last long.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2018 at 05:55 AM
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May 20, 2018

AUSTRALIAN WILDLIFE: WILDER THAN YOUR WILDLIFE

'Frantic' mating driving Australian marsupials to extinction

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 03:36 PM
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CSI: COUNTY DURHAM

Police were called to a swingers club after receiving reports that a child was spotted going inside the adult venue but when they arrived, they discovered it was just a very short woman.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 03:34 PM
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FLORIDA DINING REPORT

Man spends 4 hours in underwear on the roof of a St. Augustine Wendy's

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 03:32 PM
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THERE'S SUCH A THING AS TOO *MUCH* NATURE

Nature group postpones walk after leader swarmed with ticks

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 11:56 AM
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REMINDS US OF EDWARD R. MURROW COVERING THE LONDON BLITZ

MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle Wiggles With Joy As Royal Couple's Carriage Passes By

(Thanks to Michael Parry, who says "And the Pulitzer Prize for most estrogen goes to...")

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 11:49 AM
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AND HE WAS

Ohio man calls police to report he's being followed by a pig

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 11:47 AM
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PROBABLY NOT WHAT THEY WERE THINKING WHEN THEY DREAMED OF FIGHTING FIRES

Firefighters receive training in removing butt plugs and penis rings

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 11:45 AM
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THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE NEWS

Eel prices expected to surge again this year

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2018 at 11:43 AM
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May 19, 2018

THERE ARE DAYS WHEN WE FEEL AS THOUGH WE'RE LIVING IN A CARL HIAASEN NOVEL

Stormy Daniels performance cut short after drunk man throws wallet in her face

Key detail: As Daniels’ show, delayed by hours because her luggage was lost by an airline, approached well after midnight, the club remained crowded.

Luggage? Why did she need luggage?

(Thanks to Fred Preller)

Posted by Dave on May 19, 2018 at 01:17 PM
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CANADA: A NATION DESCENDING INTO ANARCHY

Ontario Provincial Police said a person in Southgate, Grey County, about 145 kilometres northwest of Toronto, contacted them in late April to say someone had been going into their garage and "periodically" taking cans of beer.

Police easily track beer thieves through snow in Huron County

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 19, 2018 at 01:12 PM
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SEND HIM TO WASHINGTON

AHMEDABAD:  A Gujarat government official has claimed that he is Kalki, the tenth incarnation of Vishnu, and can't come to office because he is conducting a "penance" to "change the global conscience". Thanks to his penance, the country is getting good rains, said Rameshchandra Fefar, superintending engineer with the Sardar Sarovar Punarvasvat Agency or SSPA, in reply to a show-cause notice served to him. The notice and his bizarre reply have gone viral on social media. "Even if you don't believe, I am indeed the tenth incarnation of Lord Vishnu and I will prove it in coming days.

(Thanks the tenth incarnation of Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 19, 2018 at 01:10 PM
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CRIME DOES NOT PAY

Man accused of stealing from Vidor Walmart hurts ankle, scrotum

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on May 19, 2018 at 01:06 PM
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