March 25, 2017

CANADA: A NATION SINKING EVER DEEPER INTO DEPRAVITY

Too rude for the road — government yanks man's last name from licence plate

(Thanks to funny man, Le Petomane and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:54 PM
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THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

A man dressed in a leopard print robe used a hairbrush to rob a McDonald’s in southeast Texas Thursday morning

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:51 PM
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LIKE WE DON'T ALREADY

The next hot trend is sticking glitter on your bum

(Thanks to Jeff "Twinklebutt" Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:48 PM
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THE LAW REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you The Law Report.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "Note his aliases.")

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:47 PM
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TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

“At approximately 3:32 p.m. on March 22, officers were dispatched to the report of two subjects allegedly engaged in sexual activity in public view,” Arlington County Police said in a crime report. “As officers were conducting the investigation, the female subject charged at the officer and struck him repeatedly.”

(Thanks to Michael Huber, Al Barkafski and coscolo)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:39 PM
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IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU AND MR. FOOT ARE FREE TO GO

Idaho woman blames hungry Bigfoot for crashing vehicle

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:37 PM
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SOUTH EUCLID TACKLES THE ISSUES

Police called to South Euclid Taco Bell due to dispute over 'Fire' or 'Mild' sauce

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:35 PM
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SPORTS UPDATE

You don't want to read the sports update.

(Thanks to Roberto, and Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on March 25, 2017 at 12:34 PM
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March 24, 2017

ADVISORY

Your iPhone's dirtier than a toilet

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2017 at 11:58 AM
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BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN TENTACLES

Meet Ripple: A tentacle-shaped wearable device for flirting

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2017 at 11:55 AM
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SPEAKING OF FLORIDA MEN DISRUPTING THINGS

Man arrested for disrupting 'Beauty and the Beast'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2017 at 11:48 AM
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BECAUSE FLORIDA'S TRAFFIC WAS NOT DISRUPTED ENOUGH

Lakeland man charged after eating pancakes in roadway, disrupting traffic

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says "I believe the pancakes were each given Florida Driver's licenses, and released.")

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2017 at 11:47 AM
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March 23, 2017

HASH BROWNS EVERYWHERE

Brawl between 2 women at Waffle House in Auburn caught on video

Advisory: Bad words.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 05:26 PM
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YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS

Turkey flew through New Hampshire truck driver's windshield

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 05:24 PM
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WAIT... SO THEY GAVE UP DRIVING BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD?

Japanese town offering discount funerals for seniors who give up driving

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 11:42 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Las Vegas bus serves as mobile hangover cure clinic

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 11:40 AM
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LONG ISLAND LITFEST

On Sunday I'll join Alan Zweibel at Long Island LitFest, where we'll be talking about For This We Left Egypt?, the parody Haggadah we wrote with Adam Mansbach. We will also explain how matzah can be used as a weapon.

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 09:40 AM
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TENNIS IN MIAMI IS NOT LIKE TENNIS WHERE YOU LIVE

Here's Mrs. Blog's report of how a Miami Open match was invaded yesterday by a Jurassic Iguana.

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2017 at 08:53 AM
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March 22, 2017

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Giant die washes ashore on Lake Coeur d'Alene

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2017 at 02:21 PM
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FORTUNATELY IT WAS BUD LIGHT

Police were investigating Wednesday morning after a load of beer was dumped on a road following a wreck.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Which is where it belongs, if you ask me.")

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2017 at 02:01 PM
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