July 30, 2014

HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT OUT OF SIGHT

MAX REGER’S ORGAN IS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on July 30, 2014 at 11:03 AM
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BE ADVISED, LADIES

Turkey Deputy PM Says Women Shouldn't Laugh in Public

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

Posted by Dave on July 30, 2014 at 10:58 AM
Permalink | Comments (0)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

This just in.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on July 30, 2014 at 10:56 AM
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July 29, 2014

TERRORISM UPDATE

Breast-feeding moms take over Oklahoma park

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says, "Key line: 'Plenty of dads came out for moral support.'")

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 05:41 PM
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Y'ALL ARE KIDDING, RIGHT?

Oak Ridge cancels class to reduce Southern accents

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 02:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (20)

EW

Just, ew.

Advisory: Ew.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 02:49 PM
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HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE BUSHES PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Hickory police arrested a Connelly Springs man after a store manager spied him talking to bushes Monday, officials said.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 02:46 PM
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OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR

300 in brawl at New Jersey wedding

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 02:43 PM
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FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Germany performed the most penis enlargements in the world last year

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 02:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

APPETIZING

Restaurant hires girls to walk crabs

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:56 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

THIS CALLS FOR A WEEK OF INTERNATIONAL DRUNKEN CELEBRATION

George Michael hints at a Wham! reunion with bandmate Andrew Ridgeley

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby, who says "The line forms behind me.")

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:43 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WHAT THE *HELL* IS GOING ON UP THERE?

Canada: Bird-plucking woman clears train carriage

(Thanks to Howard from Broward and The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

OZ

At least four prisoners in Darwin are suspected of repeatedly escaping the prison, getting drunk, then voluntarily returning to the facility in the hope no one would notice.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:36 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

When a sergeant asked Medina why he hadn’t stopped, the suspect reportedly said: “I didn’t find it necessary.”

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

This Bluetooth-Enabled Vibrator Might Bring Us Closer to Computer-Engineered Orgasms

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU'RE ON TV AND YOUR PHONE RINGS

This.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby, who says, "If this call was from his significant other...")

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

ELSEWHERE IN CANADA

Beaver 'still at large' after felling large tree that collapsed on car

On orders from the squirrels, of course.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:27 AM
Permalink | Comments (2)

WE DONT CARE WHAT THE DAMN CONSTITUTION SAYS: THIS MAN NEEDS TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford just can't help himself as he opens a children's playground with his brother

Article-2708775-2011AAB500000578-768_634x385

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:25 AM
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A PROBLEM WITH 'HEIGHT DIFFERENCE'

Freddie Prinze Jr.: 'Unprofessional' Kiefer Sutherland Almost Made Me Quit Acting

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Richard Klinzman, who says, "Incredibly, this did not warrant a bullet in the thigh.")

Posted by Dave on July 29, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

July 28, 2014

'TO THE MUTUAL SATISFACTION OF ALL PARTIES'

Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on July 28, 2014 at 12:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (25)

 
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