April 18, 2015

ATTENTION, POST HUNT PEOPLE:

Get ready.

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Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 03:24 PM
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FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Escaped zebras chased through Brussels by police

(Thanks to Jeff in Pittsburgh)

Related: Buffalo herd roams Arkansas city neighborhoods

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:47 AM
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FUN COUPLE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Man, woman fight over food, who pooped in bathtub

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:43 AM
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AMERICA TACKLES THE ISSUES

A drunken argument over whether Android or Apple smartphones were superior turned violent early today when two Oklahoma roommates began assaulting each other during the bloody telecommunications debate.

(Thanks to funny man, Jeff Meyerson and Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:41 AM
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MEANWHILE IN THE WAR ON TERROR

A U.S. marshal forgot his loaded gun, leaving it on top of a toilet paper dispenser in a bathroom stall at Newark Liberty International Airport, one of the country's busiest hubs.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:39 AM
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THE FRIENDLY SKIES

Air traveler, 68, describes being stabbed with pen by angry woman next to him because he was snoring

(Thanks to Ron G.)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:36 AM
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FORTUNATELY THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA LICENSES

Millions of honeybees swarm I-5 as truck full of bee crates crashes

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:33 AM
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AT LAST THE WAIT IS OVER

The Hoff is back. And he's better than basically the same as ever.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on April 18, 2015 at 09:27 AM
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April 17, 2015

*BAD* LT. SHAGGY DAN!

The fire started just before 3:30 p.m. when resident Samantha Roth, 22, was cooking and got locked outside of the house by the family’s 3-year-old dog, Lt. Shaggy Dan.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 10:09 AM
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YOU *WILL* REPAY YOUR LOAN

Dutch banker fired after she is exposed as a dominatrix prostitute who described herself as a ‘high class nymphomaniac’ and earned 10,000 euro a week dressing up as a Nazi and whipping men

(Thanks to wiredog and Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 10:07 AM
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CANADIAN UPDATE

Stripping not allowed in Saskatchewan, unless it's for charity

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "Honest, dear, her name really IS Charity!")

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 10:02 AM
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WE'RE NEVER GOING IN THE WATER AGAIN

A bizarre, self-amputating, vertical swimming, serpent-like marine specimen has washed up on the salt marsh at Aramoana in Dunedin.

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(Thanks to Bill Moore, who says "If Edgar had a tapeworm, this would be it.")

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 09:54 AM
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GOOFY

Woman says Disney implanted her with a chip

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Rich, who says "Hate to break it to you, Ms. Hooker, but Disney already enacted its world-wide brainwashing program. It's called 'Let It Go', and it worked.")

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:37 AM
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THE HORSE WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Kentucky man arrested after riding drunk on horseback

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:34 AM
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CANADIAN NEWS ROUNDUP

Daredevil raccoon makes 58-storey climb up Toronto crane

This has been your Canadian News Roundup.

(Thanks to Steve Ambler)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:30 AM
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FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Earthworms rain down from skies over Norway

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, Steven Pudlo and Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:28 AM
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SUAVE

Man who had sex with dog on film accidentally sent video to his girlfriend

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:26 AM
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THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Giant chicken invades Dauphin County Courthouse

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:24 AM
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AIRPORTS HAVE THE SAME EFFECT ON US

Wolverine tranquilized at New Jersey airport after chewing through cage

(Thanks to Azaliah Yadinah-Parker and Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:23 AM
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BOTH THE PARROT AND THE COFFEE PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA LICENSES

Pennsylvania woman blames parrot and coffee for crashing her car

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Charles Cates, DaninDallas and Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 17, 2015 at 08:19 AM
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