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August 02, 2017

NAME THAT STATE!

Man, 77, Arrested After Dousing Girlfriend, 72, In "Sex Lube"

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

IT HAS ONE HORN, AND 'GOES BY THE NAMES SAMMY AND FRANK'

Police in Rhode Island are asking people to be on the lookout for a goat that wandered off a landscaping job.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

ATTENTION, NOBEL COMMITTEE:

Japanese Turd Robot That Spews Diarrhea

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

School Named After Vince Lombardi Cancels Football Season Due to Lack of Coaches

(Thanks to Steve K)

BULLETIN

MORE GAY DOLPHINS OBSERVED OFF COAST OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA

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(Thanks to Art Silverman, who says "Not that there's anything wrong with that.")

WE FORESEE A MAJOR LAWSUIT

NC shopper confuses butternut squash with cubed cheese, man live tweets frantic ordeal

(Thanks to nursecindy)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

A nude man walking along an interstate in New Jersey was using a sex toy on himself when his public pleasure session was interrupted by police yesterday.

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Texas Calf Born Looking Like KISS Rocker Gene Simmons

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, Alan Dean, The Perts, Fabian Marson and ubetcha)

'REFRESHING'

Idol singer girl sweat flavor fried chicken goes on sale in Tokyo

(Thanks to Joe Green)

ELSEWHERE IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

Florida woman arrested after pelting brother with chicken nuggets

(Thanks to Chris Elzi and Ralph)

AS IT SO OFTEN DOES

Florida man jailed after fighting teenage son. He said it started with a hedgehog.

Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 10.59.24 AM

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

OH PLEASE

Boobs are back in a big way

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